Thinking Differently About Self-Care

A few months ago, I received what I felt was a beautiful compliment from a colleague. It was simple, thoughtful, and meant a lot to me. She said,

“You really take care of yourself.”

We had worked together for over two years at that point, so she had a good idea of my work ethic, but also how I recharge, what boundaries I set, and how I choose to take care of myself.

In a world where overworking ourselves to the point of burnout, proving how much more hardworking we are than the next person, and where a badge of honor is given for being able to “do it all”, taking care of yourself can become an afterthought. The hustle culture mentality normalizes burnout and can have detrimental effects on our well-being and how we think about self-care.

Over time, I’ve learned to treat my recovery time with as much attention and respect as my productive time. Recharging my battery to a full 100%, rather than 40%, 55%, or 70%, puts me in a much better position to show up, be present, and give my full attention to my work. This means intentionally disconnecting from work-related things on evenings and time off, allowing my mind to rest and recharge, and to enjoy interests and hobbies outside of the workplace. I find this formula works best for me and that rest is truly productive.

Her compliment made me think, though, does someone caring for themselves come as a surprise to others? Is there a perception that to be as successful as you want to be, you may need to sacrifice taking care of yourself? How much do societal norms and pressure impact our perception of the rest we need to fully thrive? Do we praise people who practice care for themselves enough?

When we think of self-care, things like pampering ourselves, purchasing expensive items, going to a yoga class, and enjoying a spa day may be some mainstream ideas that come to mind. However, there’s much more to self-care than what appears on the surface.

Below, I offer five ways you can start thinking about self-care differently and make it a normalized priority when the “to-do” list seems never-ending, the pressure is high, and when taking a minute to breathe feels like it is too much sacrifice.

1. Tune in. Self-care means different things to different people. To understand how to best meet your needs, pause and ask yourself – what is it that I need right now? A walk, calling a friend, listening to an upbeat song, closing the laptop, cooking a healthy meal - the list goes on! Then, carve out the time to actually do it. By tuning in to your intuition and how you’re feeling, you allow yourself to make a decision that most suits you at that moment. Plus, tuning in to your intuition is a great way to practice building self-awareness!

2. Setting Healthy Boundaries. Saying no to things that cause unnecessary stress, removing yourself from unhealthy situations or relationships that no longer serve you or lift you up, and declining an invitation without feeling guilty – these are all examples of setting healthy boundaries. Focus your energy on things that bring you peace, fulfillment, and make you generally happier. By modeling healthy boundaries, you’ll likely inspire others to do so as well!

3. Practice the Pause. The virtual way of working over the last several years has allowed us to work with business partners across the globe, and therefore across time zones. We can often find ourselves in back-to-back meetings, having to switch gears without so much as 30 seconds to catch our breath. When you find yourself in situations like that, practice the pause by taking a few seconds to stand up, take a few deep breaths and set your intention for the meeting you are about to enter. Think about how you would like to show up, and the energy you’re bringing to the space. An alternate consideration is to schedule 25, 45, or 55-minute meetings so you have a buffer in between.

4. Everything is Energy. Learning how to manage your energy starts with understanding what recharges you versus what drains you. Are you focusing your energy on productive things (a creative project, innovative ways to serve your clients, uplifting others) or things that drain your energy (worrying, complaining, overthinking, pessimism, anger)? There is a finite amount of energy in each of our bodies. Knowing how to spend it and being smart about what to use it on will be a factor in your success.

5. Meeting Your Basic Needs. Physical self-care, things like drinking enough water, eating nutritious meals, exercising regularly, and practicing good sleep hygiene, all set the foundation for emotional self-care. As Maslow’s hierarchy suggests, once these basic needs are met, we can move our way up to the self-actualization triangle at the top and live a life full of purpose, fulfillment, and joy. Start with the basics of moving your body, nourishing foods, and prioritizing sleep, and see how much changes in your body and mind.

Taking care of yourself is free and simple. Self-care helps to restore balance, reduce stress, and raise our vibrations to lighter, happier energy - better positioning us to attract the things we desire, people that appreciate us, and opportunities where we thrive. It’s not just a nice to have, it’s a necessity!

The happier we are, the more positive energy we fill the world with. How will you start to normalize self-care in your life?